Stream of Consciousness

Word: Conchoidal

Conchoidal doesn’t sound pretty, it sounds geometric like sinusoidal and math is anything but beautiful. Math is like pale concrete buildings shaped like stout cylinders, buildings usually found on universities with ugly campuses. I saw a building like that once on a campus, very minimal and existential, stucco white cylinder building that was a fine arts building. God, people try to be ironic and clever by making a fine arts center minimalistic-not only minimalistic, but ugly. There are enough ugly things in the world without people trying to make things ugly on purpose. Anyways, conchoidal sounds mathematical, thus ugly, but its meaning isn’t ugly. Crevasses and turns and patterns and grooves within a conch shell could be applied to anything. A conchoidal heart, maybe. Complex, beautiful, a soft pink tinge. When you listen to a conch you hear the ocean. What on earth, in the entire universe, is a more beautiful sound than the ocean? What is more simple and sweet than the act of bending your ear toward an ancient old shell and listening to the giant vastness if the water that surrounds and encompasses the world? People forever in the past and future, forever both directions, have admired and will admire.

Word: Nisus

To try and try to achieve something. Striving, it’s okay except when you end in failure. A plummet, a feeling of inferiority. Subordinate creatures are we. Success is but an abstraction, a fabrication of the mind. Energies arise and swirl uncontrollably in the mind, sadness and fear when we strive and we fail. But what are mind energies if not filters through which we perceive the world? SO what, we fail and then we bring suffering upon ourselves without tangible reasons. Life is nothing but perceptions, a void filled with the brain mind’s creations. Our senses create feelings and sights and sounds. Why do we put such emphasis on these things that are illusions? Wisps of smoke, dust, fog, shimmering in the void of dark and of pure clean emptiness.